Thursday Reflection

I’m Learning to Stop “Judging” Our Young.

Even though I have repeated this maxim to more than a few parents, I am only now – so many decades into my own life’s story – learning to refrain from making final assessments or judgments about young people (be they grand children or parishioner’s children). Who we are now may not be what we will become, then.   Conversely my likes, dislikes and passions as a teen only cause me sighs and smiles as I type these words today.

As a kid I hated to write, hated being immersed in English studies, and was basically judged as a mediocre student, at best, when demonstrating writing skills. All that is true. And I would have laughed at you if you would have predicted over 50 years ago that I would be writing this weekly reflection and enjoying this opportunity to reflect with you all. 

I abhorred the study of languages other than English – living or dead languages – as a child or as a teen, so of course God with God’s infinite sense of humor directs me to study for ordained ministry where I would have to be proficient in both classical Latin and Koine Greek, as well as be capable of comprehending four years of theological/biblical lectures in Italian.

I dreaded public speaking and had a professor of speech once tell me in college to find a new day job because my ability to communicate was below average at best. So of course I entered a profession where I must speak publicly and weekly – and have done so for almost 45 years.  

When my parents received an English Sheep Dog puppy to abide with and create chaos for them in their five room apartment in New Rochelle, I swore I would never ever allow myself to become attached to any dog who would invade (and control) my space – and then Abby came into my life! 

The point of this reflection is simple and perhaps simplistic. It’s just a reminder that the children we love today – who at times also exasperate and frustrate us – are totally unfinished products. What their abilities, likes, skills, dislikes will be as adults, may or may not be manifest to your eyes this day. The daughter who drives you to distraction may one day shock you with her accomplishments and make you cry with pride at her abilities. The son you deem so perfect today may grow to only break your heart. 

What we, the elders, see in our young may or may not be what God intends for them or what their abilities (or lack thereof) will create for them. All we can and should do is love them, pray for them, encourage them, pick them up when they fall, display “tough love” when necessary, and be open to be told, years from now that, yes: we were right and they were not, OR (horror of horrors) they were always right about themselves and we misread them as the persons into which they were developing.

In any event, don’t judge them by what they are today. Their final stories (and skills, and loves and losses) are a long way from being discovered by them or by us. Only the Lord has seen the finished story.

Fr. Joe

Thursday Reflection

So what is it about “the truth?”

I prayed for a break in the impeachment talking heads-a-thon, and my prayers were answered: media domination of a baseball cheating scandal. It’s highly developed, technologically creative and as old as the game itself. To hear the powers-that-be, and media guru’s all react with horror brings the same smile I always display when, watching Casablanca, I watch the Claude Raines’ character (Capt. Louis Renault) tell Bogart “I am shocked” to hear that illegal activities might be going on at Rick’s Café.  There’s this ongoing truth and understanding but no one wants to deal with it.

So late Saturday I got to thinking. What is it about “the truth?” We demand it, but often really don’t want to know it. I was walking in the snow with Abby who was zooming about in the snowfall like a puppy as she always does, except now, without knowing the truth, her body is betraying her, and a blood disease will be laying claim to her. But she only feels joy for snow. Is she better off not knowing the truth?

We’re watching a political drama unfold on TV – knowing the truth – that barring the second coming of Our Lord, just as the votes in the House were predetermined by party affiliation, so also will be the votes in the Senate. Why not just have everyone just show up one afternoon, take attendance (thereby knowing the vote total anyway) and go out for a drink. Everything else is for show. That’s the truth. Are we better off pretending there is another truth?

Jack Nicholson shouted at Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men that now classic line: “You can’t handle the truth!”   Let me wonder out loud a bit more: Ours has become and increases to deteriorate into a society and culture that has less room for God and more room for hate. Crimes “inspired” by racial and religious hatred are rising. People’s commitment to and affiliation with religious traditions continue to shrink. You think there might be a relationship among those facts! Or is that just another truth with which we don’t need to bother ourselves.  

We text more but speak to one another less. Social Media, and those who rule it, can be harsh, unfair, cruel, and filled with falsehoods – even false identities of those allegedly giving their opinions and sharing their “outrages” all the time. Is “social” media really a springboard for ANTI-SOCIAL attitudes and behaviors? Is that a truth we don’t want to deal with?

I wonder whether Jesus would use the phrase that “.I am the Truth..” if He lived among us these days? What is it about “truth” that makes us just so uncomfortable to deal with it? What is that truth or those truths that God is calling me to acknowledge about myself or my community?

Or has it always been about avoiding truth when inconvenient? Is that the ultimate truth of our culture?

Fr. Joe

Thursday Reflection

Found This on line and it got me to thinking theologically

Fr. Joe

All Dressed Up

Daily Devotional

By Elizabeth Baumann

My two little girls love the Fancy Nancy books by Jane O’Connor. Nancy is a little girl who loves everything to be fancy—she laces her vocabulary with French, wears frills on her socks, decks her bedroom in ruffles and Christmas lights, and always has sprinkles on her ice cream. Her family, including her little sister, are not fancy. Her stories unfold as conflict ensues from Nancy’s trying to make her family fancier.

At the risk of jettisoning modesty and meekness, I think of Nancy when I read the line in today’s lesson: “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” Nancy knows no limits when she gets dressed. Even her curly hair erupts with decorations. She stands out of most of the books’ illustrations as an outrageous concoction of color amid an otherwise ordinary scene. Likewise, the virtues are not bland, they may well make us look ridiculous in the eyes of the world, they may spark conflict with others’ values—and there is no such thing as taking them too far!

Like Nancy, my own girls love dressing up. Children know the power of clothes to help us know who we are and imagine who we want to be. I don’t think Paul made a mistake when he chose the seemingly mundane verb “clothe.” Virtues don’t come from within us. We take them as whole garments from Jesus himself and we learn to put them on, making us who we are, fitting us for the things we will do. If you’re going to do a fancy thing—like be holy—or go to a fancy place—like Heaven—first you put on your fancy clothes. And if my children show me anything, it’s that when dressing up there is only one rule: “The more, the better.”

Ms Baumann bio (which I suspect is a bit tongue-in-cheek) appears below:

Elizabeth Baumann is a seminary graduate, a priest’s wife, and the mother of two small daughters.  A transplant from the West Coast, she now lives in “the middle of nowhere” in the Midwest with too many cats.                                                         

Thursday Reflection

Do you believe in making New Year’s Resolutions?  

Do you believe in making New Year’s Resolutions?  I mean, for the most part, we humans fall into “same-old, same old.” Of course I should resolve to exercise more especially since I am well into being a “senior citizen” now, I should eat healthier – O yes, I do eat fruits and veggies, but there are those moments when my lust for a truck filled with BBQ ribs more than equals the hormone induced reactions that my body had to various female rock stars in my teen years.  (and who they are/ were are NONE of your business!)

I could promise that this year I intend to spend more down time with Abby as we try to make her now cancer filled journey last as long as possible but without unnecessary pain or chemicals that would steal from her the enthusiasm and joy that comes from being a dog. And indeed I will.

I might promise to try to be more patient – and this is proving to be a real challenge. I can now begin to understand why my dad (cranky at the best of times) was so pushed to the limits by human stupidity. (So if I fail, be prepared, in the best Clint Eastwood tradition, to hear me yell at you: “get off my lawn!!!” (cf. film: "Gran Torino")

Associated with the above, I can now become more forgiving of dad since I see myself becoming my father’s son at this same time in life.

This may sound silly, but I may promise to stop reading all papers, books and texts as if I were preparing for some exam. I read everything with a yellow under liner – which drives my significant other crazy. Now is the time to begin to just read for learning or read for enjoyment but just read!

Perhaps I might try to spend more time with family – especially my extended family – since we know not how much time any of us will have. Or maybe and finally, I shall promise to take a breath, worry less about how I feel or how busy I am or am not, and just enjoy my time with whomever is present, and view that the person to whom I am speaking is, for me at this moment, a person God has put into my life. Listen to him/her. Be loving and understanding and make this year a time for increase in faith, hope and especially love.

Fr. Joe